Scientists Prove Jesus Walked with Dinosaurs

PETERSBURG - Kentucky - A panel of prominent scientists and paleontologists have discovered new groundbreaking evidence that Jesus walked with dinosaurs.

President Bush Urges Cuba Toward ‘Blessings of Liberty’

GUANTANAMO BAY - Cuba - George W Bush has urged the Cuban people to embrace freedom and democracy after the resignation of Communist leader Fidel Castro.

Comrade Brown Creates the Peoples Bank

NEWCASTLE - England - Comrade Gordon Brown has instructed Comrade Darling to create a Peoples Bank.

Hated Heather Mills to Settle in Iraq

BAGHDAD - Iraq - After winning a record £55 million from chump, Sir Paul McCartney, ex-glamour model, Heather Mills and the most hated person in the world. Lady Mucca, is to escape Britain and live in Baghdad.

British Teens to be Cautioned for First Time Murder Offences

LONDON - England - Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has announced new Labour laws to reduce violent crime in the British Isles. The breakthrough laws will also reduce police paperwork and increase efficiency within the law and enforcement sectors.

Crying Hillary Clinton Terrorises Supporters

EL PASO - Texas - There was terror and panic in El Paso when Hillary Clinton shed a tear on the podium after multiple losses to Barack Obama.

African Village Empty After Mass Celebrity Adoptions

UGANDA - Ondongo Tamba is the only person left in the village of Kkonkoma after a mass of celebrity adoptions.

Protected: Ku Klux Klan Endorses Obama

KENTUCKY - USA - Imperial Wizard, Ronald Edwards has stated that, "anything is better than Hillary Clinton." CENSORED BY GOOGLE -

NHS Unveils New Fleet of Ambulances

LONDON - England - The cash-strapped National Health Service (NHS) today unveiled its latest solution.

Bush Restrained after Talking to God on Flight to Heathrow

WASHINGTON DC - USA - George W Bush on a Heathrow-bound presidential flight had to be dragged from his presidential chair and handcuffed after suffering an apparent mental breakdown in mid-air, it emerged yesterday.