Northern Rock to be Renamed Northern Pebble

NEWCASTLE - England - Adam Applegarth, the Chief Executive of the Northern Rock Bank, has agreed to proposals for changing the company name to Northern Pebble.

General Petraeus Updates George W Bush on Successful US Defeat in...

ANBAR PROVINCE - Iraq - The Americans have declared The Surge a victory for US failure in Iraq. The US is now officially winning the defeat and have proudly proclaimed success in losing the war.

New Study Reveals Junk Food Bad for You

SCUNTHORPE - England - According to a new study by an independent research group, junk food is not good for you.

Mothers Warned as Number of Brain-Damaged (FAS) Babies Doubles

LONDON - England - Experts have warned that the number of children born with Foetal Alcohol Syndrome has doubled in Britain.

Britney Eats Big Mac During MTV Performance

Britney Spears made a spectacular return to showbusiness last night when she performed at the MTV awards by consuming a supersize Big Mac meal and a large tub of chocolate ice cream whilst simultaneously miming to her new smash hit song.

Bogeyman Osama Bin Laden True Video Location Revealed

LANGLEY - VA - Osama Bin Laden's recent address engineered to scare more people into accepting the War on Terror has revealed a major flaw in the clandestine filming operation.

Jesus Turned Wine into Water New Study Reveals

JERUSALEM - Israel - An astounding archaeological find has revealed that Jesus of Nazareth was teetotal and changed wine into water instead of water into wine.

Entire UK Population to be Branded

LONDON - England - The whole population and every UK visitor will be branded with an iron, a senior judge has said.

US Finally Reveals Plan for Iraq as Allies Retreat

WASHINGTON DC - On the eve of British forces finally backing away from American military tactics, a top US General has finally revealed a plan for Iraq.

Doctor Who Revives Davros and the Daleks

LONDON - England - Having assimilated everything human, Davros is back with a vengeance to enslave humanity with his evil vile rantings and faux propaganda networks of control.