LONDON - England - Ed Balls, the PM's closest ally, finally comes clean about his ferociously awful haircut and says the impact will last 15 years.
NEW YORK - USA - The 56 year old grandmother, Madonna, finally met up with her secret grandson after many years, the Daily Squib Exclusive Report can reveal.
LONDON - England - Prime Minister Gordon Brown has today vowed to get rid of city workers who are rewarded for failure with big bonuses.
WASHINGTON DC - USA - Barack Hussein Obama boarded his presidential plane with his wife Michelle today for the first time.
LONDON - England - Buckingham Palace has confirmed that Jeremy Clarkson is to be Sainted, Knighted and given the Nobel Peace Prize all at the same time.
BERLIN - Germany - Hitler was planning to defeat Britain in World War II by utilising a fleet of snow machines, historians for Berlin's Institute of Nazi History have revealed after secret plans were discovered on an excavated site.
LOS ANGELES - USA - Christian Bale, the actor and supreme lovey of lovey's, has created a Yoga instructional video that is blowing the Hollywood acting set for six.
MIAMI - USA - The United States has been gripped with bong fever as the 2009 Ganja Olympics finally got underway yesterday.