Daily Squib

LOS ANGELES - CA - Michael Douglas, the Hollywood actor married to Welsh actress Catherine Zeta Jones of 'Darling Buds of May' fame, reveals the secrets to his youthful looks in next month's edition of Hello magazine.

LONDON - England - In a land full of rotten rhetoric, suffocating taxes, no right to vote on a referendum, and gangs of feral thugs roaming the dangerous streets there have been calls from the unelected Prime Minister Brown to embrace 'Britishness'.

BAGHDAD - Iraq - Sheik Bin Abu Ayham is behind the introduction of the latest Eco-friendly suicide vest in use today in the warzone.

ARKANSAS - USA - Forget about organic vegetables and fruit being the key to a healthy diet. Scientists have now come up with proof that eating junk food is better for you than so-called "healthy food."

NEW YORK - USA - There was surprise amongst the population when a US Governor was implicated in a prostitution ring.

BEIJING - China - The Chinese Olympic swimming event is today under threat because of major problems wih the venue capacity.

SAMARRA - Iraq - A US Marine was today honoured for his puppy tossing skills in the yearly competition held in Samarra.

ANCHORAGE - Alaska - A white killer whale was recently spotted in Alaska's Aleutian Islands, sending researchers and their ship's crew scrambling for cameras.

SCUNTHORPE - England - Tesco superstores have announced the opening of another Tesco branch inside an existing Tesco superstore in Northern England.

VERMONT - USA - Barack Obama's campaign may have taken severe hits in Texas and Ohio, but now after being smeared by the Clintons with dubious photo releases he has shown - he too can play dirty.