Britain’s Got Talent

LONDON - England - Simon Scowell, Piers Moron and some dozy bint pick a winner out of the talented Brits on display for turgid reality show Britain's Got Talent.

Channel 4 Pilots New Racist Reality Show

LONDON - England - Channel 4 fresh from the Big Brother racism row pilots a new Baywatch style show starring racists Danielle Lloyd, Jade Goody and Jo O'Meara.

Madonna True Age Revealed

LONDON- England - A group of archaeologists and scientists have discovered the true age of Madonna using ground-breaking carbon dating techniques.

Last Piece of Rubble Destroyed in Gaza

Militants from the Palestinian faction Hamas today destroyed the last piece of standing rubble in the Gaza Strip after several days of fighting in which 8000 people have died.

Smiling Banker Says Economy Fu**ed

LONDON, England - The economy is officially 'fu**ed' says Mervyn King the head of the Bank of England today at a business luncheon.

Paris Spectacular Prison Re-Entry

LOS ANGELES - CA - In an amazing U-turn by the Los Angeles court system, a judge has ruled that spoiled brat Paris Hilton needs more gratuitous weeping photo ops.

Paris’ Early Jail Release

LOS ANGELES - CA - Paris Hilton was released from jail today after serving 3 days out of the required 45 day sentence.

Exposed Birth Secrets of George W Bush

TEXAS - USA - Joan Wilder was the ceremonial priestess present at the birthing of the now President of the United States, George W Bush. She recounts her harrowing tale after many years of silence.

UK Olympics Logo

The logo for the 2012 London Olympics was designed by a blind design group. Joey Mellors who heads the group was commissioned by the Olympics Board and payed £4.50 for the ground breaking design.

Surge is Working Says Bush Spokesman

Washington - Pentagon Spokesman Ryan Whitman has announced that all is well in Iraq and the troop 'surge' as proposed by George W Bush is working.