Daily Squib

CALIFORNIA - USA - The soviet censorship of Dr. Seuss is another example of the creeping death of Western civilization and freedom of expression.

ST PAUL - USA - Shaquashisha LaQwandwell, 23, is the first ever transgender woman to win the Minnesota Beauty Pageant .

LOS ANGELES - USA - During the filming of Oprah's Markle exposé, a little bird shit on Meghan Markle. Don't worry it's good luck.

FLORIDA - USA - President Trump spoke at the CPAC conference to a packed crowd of fans, outlining his future plans, much to the annoyance of socialists

HOLLYWOOD - USA - Lights, Camera, Action! Harry and Meghan sell their brand once more as 99-year-old Prince Philip lies in a hospital bed dying.

GLOUCESTERSHIRE - England - The Cheltenham Festival is back this year and what a stonker it is going to be. Get ready for the action to begin again!

PARIS - France - An agency called Romance has become one of the most respected in France. ECD Alexandre Hervé explains how the agency uses emotion to unite consumers.

SAN FRANCISCO - USA - Chinese President Xi Jinping has ordered his subordinate, Joe Biden to force all American citizens to get anal swabs.

LOS ANGELES - USA - A mysterious man has come forward with a theory about where Lady Gaga's stolen dogs have gone. Investigation is ongoing.

ELYSIUM - What used to be paradise is now a desecrated earth, plundered and mutilated for Millennia, a dystopian tragedy.