Daily Squib

PARIS - France - After being locked out of a special nuclear submarine deal between the UK, US, and Australia, AUKUS, President Macron has blown a fuse.

LONDON - England - Unceremoniously dumped in the Boris Cabinet reshuffle, Dominic Raab, the former Foreign Secretary, is thinking of going back on holiday.

BEIJING - China - American Bolshevik General Mark Milley will fly to the Chinese capital today to be honoured by the CCP and PLA for betraying the USA.

LONDON - England - The hell of living in Mayor Sadiq Khan's capital city is not only compounded by the exaggerated prices of everything, but by the incessant knife and gun crime.

MONTECITO - USA - Flush from the lucrative Netflix deal, Prince Harry, has acquired an AH-64 Apache attack helicopter.

LONDON - England - According to some reports, there are claims that Prince Andrew has been served lawsuit papers from U.S. lawyers.

LONDON - England - Do you ever read a mainstream news headline and sit there in an awe stricken daze? Check out our next edition of selected Beyond Satire news.

LONDON - England - How would Antony Blinken, the U.S. Secretary of State, explain the Holocaust in 1943? Much the same as he explained Afghanistan, according to Professor Richard Vatz.

PARIS - France - The Epica Awards judges are not creative in any way, and are only journalists, according to the new campaign videos.

PARWAN PROVINCE - Afghanistan - Bagram Air Force Base is to be taken over by the Chinese military in conjunction with the Taliban forces.