This Week Trends
ANKARA - Turkey - Authoritarian Islamist PM Erdogan has promised to remove any form of belly dancing semi-naked women from Turkish television.
CHICAGO - USA - It's the third time this month that Moody's has had a bad mood resulting in some serious downgrading actions.
Hot Stuff Coming
GUANTANAMO BAY - Cuba - If you keep someone awake forcibly for 180 hours straight, they will confess to anything. These are the torture methods used on the 911 suspects.
ATHENS - Greece - The world economy and EU is preparing for another Greek election in six weeks, then one after that, and one after that as well.
LONDON - England - Comrade Ed Miliband has called for workers and his exiled commissars to rise up and bring revolution back to Soviet Britain once again.
JAMESTOWN - Saint Helena - The former French president will be exiled to the island of Saint Helena in the Atlantic Ocean, 1,870 km from the west coast of Africa, a French parliamentary official has disclosed to the media.
LONDON - England - We must stop dilly dallying around. Brexit means Brexit. Leave means Leave. Repeal the 1972 European Communities Act Immediately.
IRELAND - Filming for Game of Thrones episode eight was halted momentarily after actor Peter Dinklage was eaten whole by a husky dog on set on Wednesday.
FLORIDA - USA - Eighties pop starlet, Bonnie Tyler, who can literally make paint peel with her voice, has been recruited to sing on a Caribbean cruise ship for the total eclipse which will take place on August 21.
PYONGYANG - N. Korea - Despotic communist leader, Kim Jong-un is no longer worshipped in North Korea by his people.
CHARLOTTESVILLE - USA - The removal of historical iconic statues, like General E. Lee are an affront to history and the story of the human condition.
BRUSSELS - Belgium - Jean Claude Juncker and his team have been caught spending 500,000 euros of EU taxpayers money on two months of luxury travel. But that's not the end of it..