Anne Widdecombe Loses Virginity to Racist Dance Partner

BLACKPOOL - England - It was another glorious Strictly Come Dancing event on Saturday night, when 63-year-old virgin Anne Widdecombe was spectacularly deflowered on the dance floor in front of millions of viewers by dance partner, Anton Du Beke.

“Eh, at least she’s not a p*ki,” the openly racist, Du Beke, stated as he lunged towards Widdecombe, much to the dismay of the audience and band.

Even Bruce Forsythe was taken aback, and his toupée twitched uncomfortably, as Ms Widdecombe screamed in a matronly manner for “more and more and more.”

The twirls of passion on the dance floor during a version of Tango resembling a rhino playing with a prancing donkey, brought on such fits of laughter from the assembled audience that filming had to be stopped after many fainted in their seats.

Du Beke took Widdecombe by her hand and the two fell behind one of the plastic palm tree props. She had a wicked look in her eye as she literally devoured Du Beke, and the two were momentarily filmed humping each other like dogs on heat.

“The passion was wonderful. Anne really commanded the scene as she lifted Du Beke clear off the ground, grabbed his quivering head, then slammed it full on into her heaving cleavage. At one point, he seemed to have been getting second thoughts on the whole thing, but Anne’s musky stench must have gripped his nostrils, and he brought up a little vomit, which dripped off his chin onto Ms Widdecombe’s sequinned lacy top — then they embraced passionately,” R.C. Holle, one of the judges of the competition, told the dance panel.

The happy couple were then spied enjoying a post-coital cigar outside the studio doors after the show had ended, soon to be whisked off in a limo together.