Exclusive First Pictures of ‘Brangelina’ Baby

LOS ANGELES - CA - The Daily Squib newspaper has acquired the only photographs of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's new baby, all for for the princely sum of $23 million.


You will not find these pictures anywhere else. The Daily Squib has obtained the most expensive baby pictures ever published.

The Daily Squib’s account executive, Miles Brent was told by the Jolie-Pitt managing accountant to leave the money in a bin outside Brangelina’s Los Angeles Lawyer’s office and to not bring anyone else to the drop zone.

Yesterday at 12 noon Miles Brent dropped the suitcase into a bin and a tramp in disguise appeared from the shadows with a brown envelope.

“It was quite nerve racking folks but we did it. I was sweating very heavily at the time and just the thought of $23 million in my suitcase was enough for me. I travelled here by Greyhound bus and you know what it’s like on those buses, crazies galore,” our man Miles Brent recalled.

The exclusive pictures are truly amazing and you will attest for yourselves the wonderful celebrity wonders that will manifest.

There is, of course, no sign of the ‘credit crunch’ reaching team Brangelina as they are now probably sitting in a darkened room and rolling around in mounds of money as they plan on their next humanitarian photo-opp mission to deepest Africa where they can sip champagne whilst watching starving African children wilting slowly around them.

And finally here are the pictures you have all been waiting for:

The proud mother and father attend to their bundle of joy

Loving father, Brad Pitt cuddles the baby