MANCHESTER - England - Under Labour's regime, over 3 million migrants entered Britain, increasing threats of terrorism and crime.
LOS ANGELES - USA - Whichever Warner Bros executive thought it would be wise to spend $175 million on a Guy Ritchie King Arthur flick must be either mad as a box of frogs or as gullible as a Remoaner listening to Tony Blair talking about re-joining the EU.
MAJOR NEWS BREAKING
TOLD YOU SO
LONDON - England - As the misandric, feminist, homosexual agenda creates institutionalised societal hatred of men there is still a tiny enclave of blokes alive and well deep in a secret location somewhere.
JAKARTA - Indonesia - The Daily Squib is offering five lucky readers an Asia plane ticket ride of a life time. To enter the competition please find details inside.
WASHINGTON DC - USA - An International Policy Institute expert has revealed that a protracted war with Iran would be the ultimate insurance for an Obama second term.
WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Pop star, Madonna was seen lurking outside the White House today and was promptly told to leave by a group of secret service men.
WASHINGTON DC - USA - Michelle Obama has sighed in relief at her husband's election win and is already planning her next multi-million dollar taxpayer funded vacation.
JOHANNESBURG - South Africa - Armed robbers, carjackers, muggers and an assortment of generally nasty sorts are gearing up for a major influx of rich football supporters to relinquish them of their money, a township elder has revealed.
NEWS ON THE HOUR
WASHINGTON DC - USA - The sixteenth president of the United States of America, Abraham Lincoln has been discovered to have had a black father according to historians and scientists working for the Institute of Historical Science which is linked to Harvard university.
WASHINGTON DC - USA - Scientists at the Institute of Historical Research have finally released their findings after five years of dedicated research.