World’s Largest Deep Fried Mars Bar Now Making Its Way to Scotland

Scotland No Vote Bribe-Deep Fried Mars Bar

The massive deep fried mars bar left the warehouse in Cheshire on route to Scotland this morning

CHESHIRE – England – The world’s largest deep fried mars bar is now, as we write this, making its way to Glasgow, Scotland.

 

Prime Minister, David Cameron himself commissioned the massive battered mars bar to be made and presented to the Scottish people prior to voting on the Scottish referendum held in a few days time.

“If this doesn’t sway the Yes voters I don’t know what will,” a nervous PM said from Downing Street.

The gargantuan deep fried mars bar is the creation of a catering company in Cheshire, who have been constructing the mars monstrosity for three weeks now.

“The deep fried mars bar has a length of 65 feet and width of approximately 35 feet. It weighs over 18 tonnes and had to be deep fried in specially constructed deep fat frying machines made in Germany specifically for this purpose. We used over 8 tonnes of batter and the caramel was shipped over from twenty locations worldwide. We are gifting this large deep fried mars bar to Scotland as an impetus to vote No to independence,” managing director of Halstow Confectioneries told the BBC.

The deep fried mars bar left its warehouse this morning at 5am and a specialist crane lifted it onto an HGV for the arduous journey up North.

People have been lining the streets as the deep fried mars bar goes through villages, towns and city centres along its route, cheering it on.

“We had some kids trying to bite chunks off it when going through one village, we had to get security in,” Chief Inspector Collin Waring, revealed.

The estimated time of arrival in Glasgow should be by 4pm Wednesday, just in time for feeding time when the chippies open.

Follow the Deep Fried Mars Bar Journey LIVE only on the Daily Squib

 

Timeline

5am – Mars bar has left the warehouse and is being loaded onto an HGV lorry.

5.30am – The mars bar has now travelled 4 miles and is at a roundabout near an industrial estate

6am – Rush hour morning traffic and onlookers have slowed the mars bar down.

8am – The mars bar is now about to enter the motorway heading North. Police escorts have arrived to protect the mars bar.

12.03pm – The mars bar convoy stops at a Little Chef as the drivers and police are a little peckish. Perhaps they’ll be having mars bars?

12.15pm – News just in SNP leader Alex Salmond has told Yes voters to avert their eyes and plug their nostrils when the mars bar crosses the border into Scotland.

  • Jebril

    Looks like the Mars bar worked. Whaley the Scots.

  • Larry

    Shouldn’t the truck be refrigerated because it’s quite hot today. What if the chocolate melts onto the road?