LONDON – England – Count Dracula of Transylvania, Romania, has arrived in our capital city after the blood supply ran out in his home country.
The arduous journey all the way from Transylvania took three days and a positively drained Count arrived at the Central London bus garage this morning gasping for a good drink.
Count Dracula embarked from Bran castle three days ago deep in the dark Romanian countryside, over the centuries he has of course seen many changes and most of all the recent EU border restrictions have seen the blood supplies dwindle in the villages around the castle.
“They all came to the UK. I said to Igor, vat is this place that robs me of my blood supply? No more fresh virgin maids with tender necks to bite into any more. The last few months I have only been feasting on sheep and goats. The blood is rancid and tasteless compared to the human kind,” the Count said stepping off the bus.
Like most bloodsuckers, the Count immediately made his way to Marble Arch and was last seen gorging himself on some baffled American tourists.