News From the Syrian Front By Senator Feinstein

Senator Dianne Feinstein gets ready to mow down a platoon of Syrian soldiers

ALEPPO – Syria – U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein has been fighting on the Syrian front for two weeks now and reveals some of her amazing stories.

“Last night I took some shrapnel in my legs. Ah, the pain was awful but I unloaded enough lead into the enemy with my machine gun afterwards that I think they could write a book with their shot up carcasses. It felt real good to mete out some justice on those Syrian soldiers. War is hell, but when you’re packin’ a heavy machine gun, it’s not so bad, make’s you feel good to be alive for that brief second.”

Senator Feinstein and her Al Qaeda brigade of unruly men filmed by a Fox News crew, have been encamped in a disused warehouse for the last few days, but are now considering moving through the rubble of the city to a safer place.

“The first night here I got all home sick. I was thinkin’ of Mr and Mrs America back home, and I was imagining about how they must be all safe in their homes with their AR15s by their sides. I missed home so bad I threw a few grenades at an old goat and watched it disintegrate in front of my eyes. I imagined that it was John Boehner for a second, but we were then attacked by troops from both sides because of my stupid grenade throwing antics which alerted them to our dug out position. We had a hooch here but now it was goin’ up in flames. I put my iPod on and turned on Paint it Black by the Stones to full volume watching the hot metal casings hit the floor as I squeezed the trigger. I was like Rambo that night. Blowin’ those muthas home back to where they came from. It was beautiful I tell ya.”

‘Unloading lead’ a documentary about Senator Feinstein’s gun-toting mission in Syria will air on the Fox News Network on Wednesday.