Abu Qatada Misses Wimbledon Final on Bumper Britain Day

LONDON – England – As bumper days go, things don’t get better than this for Britain, first hate cleric Abu Qatada was deported after an eight year battle, and Andy Murray wins the Wimbledon final, the first Brit in 77 years to do so.

“I can’t take any more good news. Is this reality? I had to pinch myself. And not only that, it was sunnier than Spain in Grimsby,” Gerald Hornby, 37, a tennis fan told the BBC.

Good News Overload

All over the United Kingdom there were smiles seen on peoples faces as opposed to the usual contemplative miserable British grimace.

“What a day! House prices just rose 3% two minutes ago, the economy’s steaming ahead and Ed Miliband’s Labour party is embroiled in a dispute with his own union benefactors. It can’t get any better than this,” a cheerful Brit said in the sunshine swigging from his pint.