Egyptians Celebrate Transition From One Dictator to Next Dictator

CAIRO – Egypt – Celebrations took place across Egypt all last night after the previous dictator was deposed by another dictator.

“This is the happiest day of my life. We have really achieved something here. We now have a new dictator to brutally rule over us. Hip hip hurray!” a Tahrir Square protester said whilst joyously punching the air before forcing himself onto a female protester and aggressively sexually assaulting her.

The third Egyptian revolution in five months was seen as a relatively painless affair, with minimal lynchings and rapes.

“If we get tired of one dictator, we riot so that another one is installed, then we continue with the charade. I still live in a mud brick hovel with no running water or sanitation, but I think the next dictator may be better for me and my family of 45,” Basim Al-Ghaud, a postman who delivers to the Zamalek district said before roughly assaulting a burka clad woman.