MPs Were Forcibly Told to Vote For Pay Rises By Themselves

LONDON - England - The Houses of Parliament were in chaos today as hundreds of MPs said they were forced to vote for massive MP pay rises and feel kind of bad about it.

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“I actually don’t know what to do with all the money. I’ve got three houses now, four duck houses and a fleet of chauffeur driven Bentleys,” MP for Harlow, Essex Donald Trumpet revealed.

These pay rises have caused serious anguish amongst parliamentarians and there is a call now to increase MP salaries even further to alleviate the guilt they feel.

“I feel deeply guilty about it. I have just been forced to award myself a 35% increase in salary. Sometimes I can’t look at myself in the mirror. Haha haha hah! Yippee!” another MP said snorting wildly.