MPs Were Forcibly Told to Vote For Pay Rises By Themselves

LONDON – England – The Houses of Parliament were in chaos today as hundreds of MPs said they were forced to vote for massive MP pay rises and feel kind of bad about it.

“I actually don’t know what to do with all the money. I’ve got three houses now, four duck houses and a fleet of chauffeur driven Bentleys,” MP for Harlow, Essex Donald Trumpet revealed.

These pay rises have caused serious anguish amongst parliamentarians and there is a call now to increase MP salaries even further to alleviate the guilt they feel.

“I feel deeply guilty about it. I have just been forced to award myself a 35% increase in salary. Sometimes I can’t look at myself in the mirror. Haha haha hah! Yippee!” another MP said snorting wildly.