Putin a Secret American Patriot

MOSCOW – Russia – Something is very wrong in America when the upholder of true American patriotism and freedom is a Russian president.

“I have a confession to make. I have always been an American patriot. I want you to uphold your right to freedom of speech and the constitution as laid out by your American founding fathers. Unlike your current president, Obama who has trashed the constitution and holds the American public with contempt and disrespect, I as a Russian am a True American Patriot. God bless America and its constitution. Thou shalt have the right to bear arms, thou shalt have the right to NOT be needlessly searched, thou shalt have the right to freedom of expression, thou shalt have the right to go about ones daily business without mass surveillance, infringement and persecution. Your current president is a commie bastard. I never thought I would say that, and I think Americans should take their goddamn country back from that Stasi piece of lying дерьмо!” Russian president Vladimir Putin said on a television address on Tuesday.

Obama’s sanctimonious calls to country’s like China and Russia to curb surveillance and increase internet freedom are rather redundent at the moment after the mask was pulled off by American hero Edward Snowden.

Former Obama voter, Ron Washington said: “Obama fooled me and millions of Americans. Hell, I don’t think he’s even a full born and bred American, like was he born here? This guy should stop with the Stasi surveillance and checkpoints. The American people are not the enemy. Quit with the destruction of the American constitution. You ain’t a goddamn toe nail on the founders. Not even one hair on your body is worth what they wrote in the constitution. We, the people are not the enemy you humourless mangy dog. Now go on git. In Texas we have a saying, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, er…shame on me. Looks like I got fooled twice. Shame on me.”