Good News From the Eurozone For a Change

The death of the euro was announced today

BRUSSELS – Belgium – There has been some good news from the eurozone for a change after a raft of continual bad news over the years.

“The good news is that we’re going under finally after all the bad things that have been happening in succession for the last six or seven years. The euro currency will be dissolved and there will be a break up of the eurozone and we’ll all go back to living normal lives again,” a relieved eurocrat told EU News Daily.

“It’s Over..”

Many people cheered in the streets when the good news was announced this morning as this has been a great strain on the people under the EU regime.

“I feel so relieved that the euro is finally finished. It is like a weight off my back and wallet,” Gert Weilders, a Dutch national told local radio stations.

In Germany people took to the streets singing and crying with relief.

“We don’t have to pay for those lazy bastards in Spain and Greece any more or the Russian Mafia laundering their stolen cash,” a man from Berlin yelled.

The EU will be dismantled completely next week, and Angela Merkel will take an extended holiday in her dacha far away in some Bavarian forest.

“I will be living on Black Forest Gateau and Bratwurst. Good times,” the jovial German former head of the EU revealed.

Back to normal then, all is well and the sun is shining once again.