VATICAN CITY – Italy – The new pope, who is exhibiting some very strange behaviour since his ascension to the highest Catholic throne, was seen flying over the Italian capital city yesterday on a magic carpet.
“Our estimates are that Pope Francis was reaching speeds in excess of 600 mph which is the average speed of a passenger jet plane,” Rudolph Mancuso, an air traffic controller at Rome’s Leonardo Da Vinci–Fiumicino airport revealed to Italian media outlets.
The new pope has been berated for his strange and weird actions since coming to power, first by licking the feet of male prisoners, an act with homosexual undertones, and now flying over Rome on a magic carpet.
“Benedict XVI would never have done this stuff, he was just into paedophilia cover-ups in the church but this new pope is just absolutely strange,” Lonera Jablomi, a Holy See nun told Vatican Today news.
Others have condemned the new pope of dabbling in satanic magic by being able to fly on a carpet.
“Only the devil can pull off stunts like that. There he is off again like some satanic Aladdin character. Where did he get that magic carpet anyway? It certainly wasn’t from the church of Jesus Christ,” Francesca Bertollini, a concerned Catholic observer revealed to Italy’s Rai Uno channel.