Miliband Wants Poor People to Help the Rich Accept Poverty Too

LIVERPOOL – England – Labour party leader, Ed Miliband is proposing in his new manifesto that he will implement programs for enabling poor people to teach rich people how to be poor, because when he’s in power he wants everyone to be poor.

“We will have state sanctioned poverty mentors who will teach people who seem to think that working hard creates wealth and that under Labour, hard work gets you nowhere. It is ridiculous that in this day and age socialist ideals are still disregarded by some people as counter-productive to economic growth, and when I come into power I will change things forever,” Mr Miliband told a group of Labour ministers in parliament today.

The Labour leader proposes that rich people will all be given a Poverty Mentor who will follow them everywhere giving them advice about how to do things in a poor poor way.

“For example if you’re in a five star gourmet restaurant chugging down the champagne, and your name happens to be Bob Crow or Ken Livingstone, your Poverty Mentor may tell you that you have to forego on the dessert maybe, or leave a course out. These Poverty Mentors will teach these rich people that Poverty Consciousness must be adhered to at all times and that state benefits are the ultimate goal to work for,” a poverty expert revealed today.

Labour’s plans are to make as many rich people in the UK become fully fledged poor people, unless of course they are part of the Labour hierarchy or other cronies.