Oh Dear, Two Months of Rain Every Day For Rest of Year

LONDON – England – According to the Met Office, Britain's going to have two months of rain per day for the rest of the year.

“Sometimes we might get three months of rain in one day, or maybe four,” BBC weatherman Michael Haddock, said on the BBC news today.

If there is one months rain on one day, and three months of rain on another day, it is quite conceivable that there can be five months of rain on all days of the week.

“You may start off with one month of rain falling within the first fifteen minutes of the day, that then tapers off bringing six months of rain in the space of twenty five minutes on the next day, and then it’s an additional eight months of rain if you add on the next day’s rainfall, then average it off to the median number. If we add on the next month’s figures after all the daily months of rain have fallen we get a new figure for months of rain. That slowly increases by two or three monthly rain increments or whatever the next f*cking soundbite is,” Mr Haddock said.

This means there should be more rain forecast soon.

  • Burp

    According to forecasters, who have used the most advanced technology available, the UK is to get a whole fucking 24 hours worth of sunshine in one year.