Tories Unpopular Even If They're Socialists

Nemo repente fuit turpissimus

LONDON – England – As the news came over the wires in the Conservative HQ, PM David Cameron, shook his head in disbelief. His party had lost over 800 seats in the English local elections.

“We’ve tried to be socialists and people still hate us,” Mr Cameron blubbed into his mug of warm flat champagne.

Indeed, the Tory drive to be just like their socialist counterparts, the Labour party, has seriously backfired, because there is nothing worse to the voter than an insipid fake Tory trying to be a socialist.

“The Tories are idiots, they should be Tories and not socialistic arseholes like Labour. It just does not work to have a watered down version of the Conservative party. Unfortunately, since they mixed their ranks with the yellow of the Lib Dems, they have acquired the pallor of p*ss water and the consistency of runny poo. Such is the demise of the Consevatives under the weak piteous wretch Cameron, that they are just not fit for purpose anymore. Look what they have done with the economy, it’s a patchwork of nonsensical half-baked policy bolstered by such high levels of taxation that any moron with half a f*cking brain could see that it will take this country further into the mire. You don’t have to be a f*cking economist to know that, you don’t have to get a doctorate at the LSE to know that. The Tories are disgusting cowards, shameful sh*t bags with no spine who tried to emulate what Britain is used to, a socialist government, and failed miserably. Cammo needs to go and walk out into Britain’s streets and see for himself, let him try and hug a hoodie and get a six inch knife through his liver,” an angry ex-voter told the Guardian newspaper.

When Labour wins the next general election, the Conservatives will possibly never win an election in the UK again. This will be due to the fact that the UK is now indelibly addicted to the social benefits and welfare system and is basically a socialist country now. The people of Britain like the comfort of having champagne socialists ripping them off whilst pretending to be ‘for the people’. The British welfare system, created in post-war Britain in the 40s is what defines the UK now and the Conservative government are themselves existing in a socialist system. If you create a Labour-orintated system with millions of people dependent on state handouts and welfare system, then you will always have a core of supporters and votes. There can never be a Conservative government in a country where the whole infrastructure and population is geared towards the welfare state and mollycoddling meddling governmental interference of the socialistic system.

This is one lesson the Conservatives will never learn as they lose time and time again.

  • Angel

    Tories are motherfuckers!!!!!!!