Comrade Cameron Warns Proles About Thoughtcrime

CHIPPING NORTON – England – Comrade Cameron supreme Soviet Coalition leader has ordered Home Security Commissar May to warn the proles about speech in public and what can happen if anyone says the wrong sort of thing.

Speaking from his dacha in Chipping Norton, Comrade Cameron instructed Commissar May to commence a program of mass surveillance on the people of Britain.

“I have instructed the Commissar for Home Security to begin a program of controlled mass surveillance on all communications available to the proles. This will include all communiques via email, telephone, internet traffic, carrier pigeon or letter writing. All citizens of our great United Soviet EU enclave must adhere to these rules at all times or you will be liquidated. Remember that all your data can also be accessed by council snoopers as well as any government agency that wishes to do so. We will also put all your data forward to the highest bidder, and this will be a nice little money earner for the government.”

Commissar for Home Security, Theresa May said yesterday: “I have been instructed by our supreme leader, Comrade Cameron, to increase surveillance levels on all potential terrorists, i.e. you the population. Everyone is a suspect in Thoughtcrime, and you will be deemed guilty before proven innocent. All you toe rags need shutting up innit. Here, I want you all to enjoy spouting off all your thoughts on the internet because from now on it’s all going to be recorded and filed forever, and used against you whenever we need to, you stupid mugs.”

  • Burp

    They are far more scared of home-grown dissent than any foreign terrorists. They learned a lesson from the riots last year, and most of the reason for this fucked up plan is they want to be forewarned for any future uprisings. They're shitting themselves that more riots will kick off during the jubilee and Olympics. Power to the people (and they know it, probably because they're reading this haha). But they will do well to remember that that the more they try to suppress things, the stronger they will come back to bite them in the ass.