British Troops Told to Finish Training Afghan Troops to Kill British Troops

Ready, aim, fire!

HELMAND – Afghanistan – British commanders have vowed to finish the British mission of training Afghan soldiers to kill British troops more efficiently.

“We’re training the Afghan troops on how they can shoot us better and more effectively,” Colonel Alistair Clarke, told the BBC’s Lyse Faucet.

Only last week six British troops were shot dead by Afghan troops and the British top brass do not think this is a good enough record.

“They need to shoot with more accuracy, so we train the Afghan troops on how to shoot their target with more accuracy. For example, yesterday I was training an Afghan regiment and one of the fellas tried to shoot me with his gun but it jammed, now that was unfortunate, and after I unjammed his weapon he shot me in the leg twice,” Staff Sergeant, Lewis Deano, of the Queen’s Royal Rifle Regiment told reporters from his hospital bed in Helmand.

British troops in Afghanistan have so far trained thousands of Afghan troops to shoot British troops, and by the daily shooting record, they are doing a damn fine job of it.

“We’re appreciated here. We train them to shoot us, and they do it. This is why we’re in Afghanistan, innit?” Private Taffy Jones, told the BBC, before being shot dead in his base, yesterday.

There are currently no plans for the British NATO troops to be evacuated from the country where they are training Afghan troops to kill British soldiers, they are adamant that what they are doing is a very important mission and they want to finish it successfully.