Greece Has Gun to World's Head

ATHENS – Greece – The Greek government lied to get into the eurozone, then they spent all their subsidies, and now they threaten to pull the plug on their creditors after bankrupting the country.

“We have a gun to the world economy’s head and we will pull the trigger because we will not pay back a cent of what we owe our creditors. What do we have to lose by a messy default? But you do,” Greek Finance Minister, Evangelos Porkos, told German TV channel ZDF.

Greece on Tuesday threatened to default on payments to any bond investor that does not accept its crazy demands.

“No one pays tax in Greece so how are the creditors going to get the money owed to them? There is no manufacturing industry, and what used to be a lucrative tourist spot under the drachma is now an overpriced euro trap for the few tourists who do accidentally buy a holiday in Greece. In effect, Greece is holding a gun at the head of the world’s fragile economy because they know very well that they have nothing to lose by a messy default, only Spain, France and Italy will be sucked under with them, taking the rest of the eurozone and the world. Who wants to do business with scorpions like that? They lie to get on the table, then they take as much as they can, then they say they’re not going to pay back a centime,” Louis Quatorze, a French politician told the French parliament on Tuesday.

Greece is demanding banks, pension companies, hedge funds and others that hold about $260 billion in Greek bonds to trade them for new notes worth less than half the face value and taking huge cuts with no guarantee of ever being paid back anyway.

The Greeks have nothing to lose by defaulting now because even after twenty years of Austerity they will still owe billions in an unsustainable system and ailing economy.

“If Greece carries out its threat, you can kiss your pension, investments, house price and everything else goodbye, because we’re all going for a world depression just because some hard headed arses said they wouldn’t pay back the money they used up. Just don’t forget to take out a massive short on the euro all the way to the bottom,” John Latrine, an economist working for Credit Suisse told Reuters.