Time to celebrate the massive increase in benefits
MACCLESFIELD – England – The Chancellor's 6% increase in benefits payments means that the sales of high tech gadgets and leisure activities will increase thanks to the taxpayer.
Sales of 3D TVs, Playstations and jacuzzis are set to increase because of the Chancellor’s generous benefits increase.
“This means that I can get that 56 inch 3D TV I’ve had my eye on for a couple of months. We’ve got all the gadgets at home and thanks to Georgie boy, we’re going to get the latest stuff,” Robbie Munter, 25, from Disley, Cheshire, told the BBC.
There were cheers felt in all benefits offices across the country as people queuing up for their giro heard the wonderful news.
No More Riots
Tracy Hodkins, 35, who has never had a job in her life was absolutely delighted with the wonderful news: “It means more booze for me and my kids. We might even go to the South of France for another taxpayer funded holiday. Thank you from the bottom of my arse, you taxpayers are lovely. I’ve just got one of my boyfriends to dump my old 67 inch plasma screen in the garden, so I can get the latest thing, innit.”
PC World/Curries and Argos have already seen a huge increase in orders for high end electronic items as well as gadgets.
“As soon as there’s an increase in benefits payments like this latest windfall payment by George Osborne, we notice a massive increase in sales of top items like 3D TVs etc. It is indeed good to see that these people are giving back to the economy. In essence, the taxpayer funds them to stay at home and watch their tellies, drink booze and smoke loads of weed all day and night. The taxpayer pays them to pay us. So, it is really good for the economy,” Keith Beattie, Managing Director of electronics firm, PC World, told industry magazine, Commerce Weekly.