Berlusconi to Save Eurozone With Massive Bunga Bunga Party
ROME - Italy - In desperation, EU bureaucrats who were dispatched to China with their begging bowls have returned empty handed, but now Italian premier, Silvio Berlusconi has come up with an amazing idea -- the mother of all Bunga Bunga parties to rescue the EU from imminent disaster.
Speaking at the Italian parliament during a gladiatorial fist fight between MPs, Mr Berlusconi quoted Suetonius: "When the coffers were empty during Gaius Caligula's short reign, what did he do? He gathered all the senator's wives and forced them to prostitute their bodies for the good of Caesar. He then sent out his procurers to solicit young men to come and enjoy themselves. When they entered the palace, clerks would put their names down as debtors to Caesar and they would partake in any woman they wished. Caligula raised so much money that he did not know what to do with it. I plan on doing the same thing."
Unfortunately for Berlusconi, the wives of Italian politicians are nothing to look at and they would actually be a deterrent for the Bunga Bunga parties.
The desperate Italian premier, might have to resort to plan B, and use some of the prostitutes only earmarked for his personal use, who are young and beautiful.
"I don't think he would allow it because he doesn't want the good ones used up. Those are for his personal use, he has about four hundred he can call up for a Bunga Bunga at any time. He pays for these girls with Italian taxpayers' money, and that is part of the thrill of it, he certainly does not want these girls to be used by the plebeians," one of Mr Berlusconi's aides told Rai Uno.