Thousands Ringing Banks Asking to Only Pay Back 50% of Debt

LONDON – England – After hearing of Greece's wonderful luck in having 50% of its debt written off by the banks, thousands of ordinary customers have been ringing their banks asking for the same.

All day Thursday, Santander, Lloyds, Barclays, Natwest and many other banking institutions have been deluged by desperate customers trying to get 50% of their debt written off.

“If Greece can spend like crazy for ten years, then get a 50% haircut for the debt they owe as well as another big fat cheque, why can’t I?” Billy Blunts, 56, a teacher from Wandsworth, who is in serious debt, told the Daily Mail.

Thousands of people have been on the phone lines asking the banks to grant them some kind of clemency, but no one has been successful yet.

“I phoned my bank up and asked them to take a 50% haircut on my loan. I too deserve to be rewarded for being lazy and not paying any tax. I’ve never heard anyone laughing like that, bunch of jackals, the lot of them,” an angry Clarence Beaks, 45, from Colchester told the BBC.