Daily Squib Holding Company to Start Galactic Flights £45,000 Per Ticket

The Chinese rockets were constructed with metal and there are minimal plastics on board

LONDON – England – The Daily Squib is to become a major competitor to Richard Branson's Virgin Galactic space flights, the Squib's head of communications and space flight has announced.

“What you do is, you give us £45,000 for a ride in a space rocket, then we blast you into space,” Mario Jenkem, the Daily Squib’s spokesman has revealed at a press conference in central London.

The Daily Squib’s holding company has teamed up with a Chinese aeronautics firm to create cut price rockets that shoot up into the sky at very high rates of speed.

Space Rocket Specifications:

Number of space tourists: 56

Number of booster rockets: 15

Speed: 13,450 mph

Destination: Who knows?

“If you think about it, you’ll be forking over 120 grand to Virgin Galactic so they can fly you into the stratosphere for a few minutes. F*ck that, we can take you further, for 45k you’ll be halfway to Jupiter. It’s a bloody bargain mate, you won’t get a better deal than that. We’ll soon have you flying in the stars in a jiffy and Bob’s your uncle, innit,” Mr Jenkem said.

The one way trip into deep space is bound to be a surefire hit with D-list celebrities and anyone who’s got a spare £45,000 hanging about.

Daily Squib Space Exploration Reader Competition

For a once in a lifetime chance to win a trip into space, tell us who was the first man in space? a) Bruce Willis b) Buzz Lightyear c) Yuri Gagarin

Send your answers on a postcard to: Space Rocket Comp, PO Box 3423, Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, GL45 9ZA

  • Burp

    Trick question. None of the above. Everyone knows the first man in space was David Bowie. Send me my one-way ticket to D Cameron,
    No 10 Downing St.
    Westminster,
    London,
    England,
    Earth (but not for much longer we hope)