The island will allow Quango bosses to conduct business in the UK from paradise.
TIKABILA – Polynesia – Non-Governmental Organisation Quango bosses have bought themselves a tropical island 2000 km West of Tuvalu, Whitehall sources have reported.
The island was purchased by Quango bosses who earn approximately £750,000 tax free per annum and also receive taxpayer funded perks amounting to £145,000 each.
Quango employees usually only work three day weeks, therefore, the purchase of the tropical island will afford them plenty of time to think about new Quango stratagems and policies.
“This is a perfect opportunity to formulate further useless bureaucratic nonsense and shitty policy that no one will ever need, but this time we’ll be on a tropical island with a martini in one hand and being fellated by some beautiful Polynesian native at the same time. Of course, you can think of us while you’re huddled up in some dingy cold room with a stale loaf of bread and a twenty pence piece. Pay up your taxes suckers, we need you to work until you fuckers drop,” a laughing Quango boss told Sky news from his chauffeur driven Bentley.
The British Coalition government fully supports the island purchase and have said that Quangos need to operate in an “efficient and viable manner to facilitate easier working practices and reduce stress amongst Quango staff.”