The West Finally Gets Gaddafi's Oil

Let the feeding frenzy begin..

TRIPOLI - Libya - Once again the West has prevailed and ensured another few years of oil supply thanks to the rebels who have now ousted the errant colonel from his land.

Eventually it had to happen. The oil fields are now under the control of America and Britain and will ensure another twenty three years of solid supply at 1.8 million barrels per day, for the West.

'In the name of freedom'

Oil reserves in Libya are the largest in Africa and the ninth largest in the world with 41.5 billion barrels. Already, the oil reserves in Iraq have been pretty much depleted by the U.S. to low levels and Libya will provide the next oil boost for the parasitical gas guzzling nation.

Libya is considered a highly attractive oil area due to its low cost of oil production (as low as $1 per barrel at some fields), and proximity to European markets.

"We didn't even have to put troops on the ground like we did with Iraq. That was way too messy. This way we used the dumbfuck rebels, then after they're done, we take over the spoils. Too frickin' easy," a Pentagon official said as he high fived a colleague.

American strategists were worried that they would either have to invade Iran or Saudi Arabia to get the next section of oil, which would have been extremely messy. Gaddafi is easy pickings and a steal.

Most of Libya remains unexplored as a result of past sanctions and disagreements with foreign oil companies, and this is why the recent rout of the Gaddafi regime will provide rich pickings for the American and British oil companies, who have been waiting patiently in the sidelines.

"America uses up 48% of the world's resources and it is like a leech sucking up everything and destroying anything in its path. It has an irresistible hunger for other countries' resources and once those are all used up, it moves onto the next country. Just look at the millions of cars on its spaghetti junction roads, ten lanes on each side. No one walks in America. Everyone drives a gas guzzling 4 mpg behemoth SUV to work and a few yards to their Walmart stores laden with any Chinese trinket imaginable. It assimilates whole cultures into its collective with its movies and sitcoms, its culture destroys anything else in its path. This is the reality," Professor of History at Cambridge University, Joseph Pavlov, told the Times.