Obama to Create Jobs by Hiring More TSA Agents

WASHINGTON DC – USA – With U.S. unemployment currently at 9.8% and 45 million Americans on food stamps, the president has vowed to create more jobs — in the TSA.

“If you want a job, we can have one for you tomorrow. All you got to do is turn up at the airport, put some gloves on, then check some poor bastard’s butt hole,” Obama’s employment czar, Alan Fenster, told CBS.

The TSA employment plan will increase employment figures for the government and ensure that Obama gets a second term.

“With this plan, there will be more employment in America. What you guys complaining about? You got a job now, so go do some work by checking a three year old child’s underpants,” Mr Fenster added.

The TSA is now recruiting all over America, and they hope to create 500,000 new jobs, which will certainly look good on the Obama jobs report when the elections happen in 15 months time.


  • Gary

    I'd rather strve to death and my family left destitute then be a TSA goon………

  • Reb

    I need a job fast where I sign up?