Palace Aides Shocked After Kate Middleton Brings Jellied Eel Dish to Palace

Jellied eels

LONDON – England – Kensington Palace senior staff have been left with red faces after newly wed Kate Middleton brought a bucket of jellied eels to a palace function earlier on in the month.


The delicacy enjoyed by millions of poor Londoners first gained popularity in the 17th century and involves chopping up eels, boiling them in a spicy stock resulting in a jellied fishy meal with a delightful taste.

“They’re a delicacy to many Londoners and used to be a staple diet of the poor of the city who would fish the eels out of the sewage infested waters of the Thames. Nowadays the Thames is a lot cleaner than when the raw poo juice was daily pumped into the river from the city sewers. I am sure Kate meant well and she probably thought she was bringing in some top nosh to add to the palace cuisine. Shame it does not quite go with the escalopines de bar à l’émincé d’artichaut, nage réduite, caviar osciètre gold and the corolle de noix de Saint-Jqcques et brocoli à la truffe blanche d’Alba,” Roger Framlingham-Smythe, a culinary expert reported in the Daily Mail on Tuesday.

Party Pieces

The newly Duchessed Kate brought the bucket of jellied eels into the main dining room in the palace just before the function introducing her to the royal household got underway.

Dignitaries that attended were obliged to try the jellied eel dish although some were said to be none too keen to even smell the fishy surprise.

“The American ambassador actually vomited when he ate a chewy eel chunk. Luckily there was the bucket Kate Middleton brought with her right there and he chundered straight into it, some of the vomit even exiting through his flared nostrils. Well, naturally, that set everyone else off including Harry and Wills who had just downed about twelve pints of lager each. Let’s just say the smell of jellied eels mixed with vomit permeated throughout the palace corridors,” one of the attendees to the little soiree recalled.

  • Ralph Smith

    Kate Middleton's mum would never have allowed anything so vulgar as jellied eels to be introduced into the family home! You can be quite certain, however, that next time he flies to Southend Prince William will bring back a pint of winkles for their tea!