LONDON – England – The Daily Squib has gone to the High Court and successfully won a super-injunction gagging order on super-injunctions being mentioned in any press or TV news stories ever again.
“This is a momentous day in super-injunctions. From now on, it will be illegal to even utter the words ‘super-injunction’ or for any celebrity to claim that their super-injunction was breached because there will be an altogether bigger super-injunction in place that will prohibit all mention of super-injunctions being uttered ever again,” Donald Moseley, the Daily Squib’s barrister said at the steps of the High Court today.
Justice Mucclespittle, ordered the super-injunction on all super-injunctions to be in place at 1 pm today and all news stories that were scheduled to be published after that time would be deemed illegal.
No more super-injunctions
“Anyone talking about super-injunctions in any shape or form will be taken to court and could be jailed if found guilty. Anyone twitting, tweeting or twatting about super-injunctions on the internet will be breaching the law and could face serious repercussions for their careless super-injunctionable words,” Justice Mucclespittle was recorded as saying after the hearing at Madame Whip’s dungeon situated just a few streets away from the courts.
News of the demise of all super-injunction news stories in mainstream news outlets was greeted with relief from the general public.
“Thank f*ck for that. I’d rather shave my eyeballs with a rusty razorblade then read another f*cking story about super-injunctions,” Joyce Petherbridge, 82, from West Glamorgan told the Daily Mail.