Yanks Moaning About Petrol Prices Again

TEXAS – USA – Americans are moaning about paying paltry prices for their petrol whilst the Brits aren't even saying a word, even though they're paying 89% fuel tax on top of huge rises in oil prices.

“Americans are moaning about paying $5 per gallon when if they lived in the UK they would be paying $16 for a gallon. You try filling up your crappy Datsun and paying £85 to do so in England whilst the Americans fill their massive cars up for a fraction of the price,” a disgruntled British driver told the Times.

It’s the same all over the UK, petrol prices are so high now in some rural areas that people are simply opting to dump their cars and walk for miles. Petrol stations nationwide in the UK are now regularly charging over £7.60 per gallon for regular unleaded petrol, and of course this all translates to goods delivered to shops, where the cost of delivery is passed on to the already overstretched consumer.

“I haven’t paid those prices the Yanks are moaning about since 1983. What are the Yanks blubbing about? Cry me a f*cking river,” Alfie Noakes, 56, a baker from Yorkshire told the Sun.

Another British motorist said: “I would give my left arm to pay the same prices the Americans are paying. Now it costs £160 ($263) to fill my car up. I’ve just re-mortgaged my house so I could stay on the road for a few more months.”

  • bill

    You guys keep talking shit to the brits and they'll stop helping us fight our wars for oil. Please stop. We love you guys, thanks for setting us up on this continent and then being our friends no matter how stupid we get. If anyone ever starts rocketing London again, we'll come a few years later and help you guys stop it.

  • um i smile alot, why because i dont let shit like that get me down. i dont smoke, i dont do drugs nor do i drink, so i think your opinion on brits is a bit misguided.

  • Anonymous

    I HATE ENGLISH PPL THY GOT A CORN COB UP DA ASS

  • Karl

    The Brits suck you can take your tax with no representation and shove it up your asses. Who wants to live in a place where they eat boiled vegetables and deep fried mars bars? Where you have to pay through the roof just to get a hotel room in some cupboard and the people there are miserable fucks. No one smiles there just go drink in your pubs and get shafted from your stupid socilaist governments. Fuck off and stay in your shitty island!

  • Joanne

    Just proves that the Yanks don't understand satire and irony!!

  • Harold Gull

    You americans make me sick to the stomach there you are with your big roads poncing around in those massive trucks u call cars!!
    You ever stop to think for one second how your country is pillaging the world so you morons can get cheap fule. You make me sick and I have no time for you.

  • Ed

    THIS IS NOT FUNNY I GOTTA FILL MY CAR UP WITH $45 WORTH OF GAS ONCE EVERY WEEK. IT USED TO BE $20 TO FILL MY CAR. YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK MAKING FUN OF US!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BITCHEZ!!!!!!

  • hah

    Get some more fuel efficient cars then and not those idiotic 5mpg SUVs you're so very fond of..

  • Alex

    Don't forget we have to drive for miles because we have a big country not some tiny dump like England which is smaller than California.

  • Pascal

    Yea and the limeys don't moan about anything..