17.7 C
London
Thursday, April 25, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldKim Jong-un 'No Longer Seen as God' By North Koreans

Kim Jong-un ‘No Longer Seen as God’ By North Koreans

PYONGYANG - N. Korea - Despotic communist leader, Kim Jong-un is no longer worshipped in North Korea by his people.

“He’s nothing but a low down mangy festering puss puss,” one man dared to say before he was carted off to one of North Korea’s infamous gulags.

In a communist country where every facet of ones lives is carefully scripted and watched, the North Korean leader is no longer seen as a living God.

“When I was at school we were taught that our supreme leader was so amazing he could literally fly. Kim Jong-un visited our school once, and when he walked through the door of our classroom he tripped over and fell onto the floor farting at the same time. If anyone laughed it would be over for us, so we shut up. He’s just a fat gaseous idiot,” Wong Suk, 16, a former pupil revealed on pain of death.

The funny thing is the North Korean despot is putting anyone who sees who he really is into gulags or having them murdered.

Some North Koreans have even taken to religion, which is strictly prohibited in the communist state. There are rumours that many would rather believe in the Jesus myth, than Kim, and that really pisses him off.

CIA analyst, Berndt Gerhardt, revealed in a recent paper that believing in Christian stories like Jesus walking on water, and turning water into wine was preferable to believing that Kim Jong-un flies around the skies at night and has super God powers that Karl Marx or Lenin would have died for.

“Yes, some North Koreans despite their brainwashed state, would rather believe in ridiculous bible stories than the fact that Kim Jong-un is a supreme being who can literally fart out missiles from his fat pimply ass hole and flatten the Trump tower 6,500 odd miles away,” the analyst revealed.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »