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Perverts Flocking to American Airports for TSA Groping

By by Ronald Moses Jeremiah 18/11/2010 07:36:00

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Crowds of men gathered yesterday to watch this pat-down show at LAX

DALLAS - USA - Whilst most Americans are now thinking twice about getting on a plane due to the new TSA groping rules, sexual perverts are now buying air tickets like crazy.

"People usually pay good money for this shit. I'm about to get my junk rubbed by a TSA bull dyke with an attitude. That turns me on so much that I think I'm gonna bust my chops right now," Harold Winkleman, a perverted man from Louisiana told Fox News, just before entering the TSA search zone.

TSA check points are now very noisy places.

"All you hear now is moaning, groaning and grunting. Some guy even started shouting for more, and a woman was overheard yelping that she needed to be whipped," a shocked passenger recalled, after a trip through San Diego's International airport.

TSA officials have also been told to carry tissues now when they conduct groping sessions, and there is even talk of putting up slide shows of x-ray scanned passengers on the walls.

"It's like a free-for-all. I wouldn't be surprised if sooner or later we get stories of sexual relations between the molester TSA officials and the molested. It really is that intimate," news anchor, John Ryeback for WMNSNCBC, said on a recent expose.

One man about to go through a TSA checkpoint said: "I shaved my balls for this. You could eat your lunch off that sack. Smooth like a babies bottom. Come and get 'em baby!"

American internal airlines have noticed a massive increase in ticket sales and are hailing the new TSA groping directives as a welcome boost to recession led lagging sales.

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