Three Strikes and You Go to Jail: Coalition Gets Tough on Murderers

Coalition government finally gets tough

LONDON – England – Murderers who repeatedly kill people will eventually have to go to jail under tough new Government rules.

Justice Secretary Kenneth Clarke plans to impose a ‘three strikes and you’re out’ rule that will jail serial killers and murderers.

He says he wants to send a ‘very strong message’ about Britain’s lax jail system and laws. ‘If you kill someone, then another and then maybe another person, we might have to prosecute you, plus you might also lose your benefit payments as well,’ Mr Clarke said.

Yesterday, outside the Old Bailey, a crowd protested at the absurdity of the new laws being implemented.

Axe murderer and thief from East London, Arthur Biddleswaide, 56, was disgusted by the new regulations: “So you’re saying that if I slaughter three people I go to jail? Bloody ridiculous! And I lose my benefits? Where is this Kenneth Clarke geezer, I’ll have his head?”

Johnson Redsparn, a certified maniac and machete wielding nutter from Swindon said: “What are they going to restrict next? Eh? They want to put us in jail? I’ve a good mind to go on another spree.”

The UK’s lax laws have created a breeding ground for serious criminals and killers roaming the streets. The new Coalition government has been left with no choice but to jail persistent murderers, and from next month, even rapists may be jailed. ‘We are negotiating over the final details,’ said one MP.