Surprise as Leak Reveals Thousands More Civilians Killed by US

"Change we can believe in"

KABUL – Afghanistan – There was worldwide surprise today after an internet leak revealed the extent of civilian deaths meted out by the US and UK war machine was much higher than previously revealed.

This is really surprising. Who would have thought that the US and UK have murdered tens of thousands of Afghan civilians on top of the official figures released? Also, this just in, we have just discovered that the pope is Catholic and bears shit in the woods.

“We were going to tell you guys about it, but looks like Wikileaks.org beat us to it. Well, since the news is out now, yes, we did kill thousands more Afghan civilians then we previously admitted. But, look on the bright side, there are now less Muslims in the world. Now that’s a major positive, because it reveals that the Crusade is working. Slowly, we are exterminating them, little by little,” a Pentagon official told Fox News.

“Bring ’em On”

Speaking from his ranch in Texas, the architect of the whole Islamic slaughter crusade, George W Bush, said: “We exterminatered them good huh! That’ll teach those Afghans to hide Saddam Hussein when he bombed the twin towers in 1999 and stashed the WMD in the Iraqs, we slaughterized those sand peoples and now you guys found out we slaughterized the Afghanis too. Shucks, it’s like Christmas all over again, pass me a hot dog. God bless America and Jesus!”

Amongst the streets of every major American city, the cheering at the news of more civilian deaths in Afghanistan was similar to a Super Bowl game.

“Hell, I would never have thought our boys had killed more rag heads, sheeit! It’s like a double bonus win. Soon we’ll have a McDonalds and strip club in every Afghan town. They better start believing in Jesus as well or we’ll kill some more of them fuckers,” Bud Dwyer, 56, a resident of Arizona told CNN.

  • Willyan

    God Bless America.

  • Truth illustrator.

    you, (the UK and the US army) who are killing Afghanistan's civilians including children and women only for the testing the new invented weapons are really evil. i wish all of you to go to hell. and one day you will have the same pain that you are giving to those innocent people. Allah will never forgive you.

  • topper

    Takling about weapons develpment, the Barrett M107 we been testing on Mujs ever seen the mess one of those 50 cals makes? beautiful destruction

  • snodgrass

    We need to stay in Iraq and Afghanistan because we need to test our new weapons systems. Military developers are constantly coming out with new stuff, so this is a great way to test in the battle theater. Civilian deaths are just a small cost of war so dont sweat it.

  • Kieron

    The governments involved want out ASAP so they allowed this leak to happen. They are practically begging for public opinion to push for an exit.

  • vERY bAD

    I’m African American and i’m ashamed of Barack Obama. He does NOT speak for me or my race. He is a traitor to his people and his country by continuuing this war. Barack Obama, I say to you sir, you are a coward. I am sorry I voted for you and your no better than the the others…………