Unite Airlines to Launch New Transatlantic Service

Up up and away..

LIVERPOOL – England – The Unite union is to expand its fleet of aircraft overtaking its rival British Airways, chairman, Derek Simpson told the BBC.

“We’ve got a larger fleet than British Airways now and are taking over their routes,” Mr Simpson told a meeting of unionists and Labour supporters last night.

Unite Airlines currently has a fleet of 250 Boeing 737’s and some Junkers Stuka’s within their European routes. The Unite airline group hope to eventually expand to South-East Asia and the Middle East.

There has been one slight concern by passengers flying on the new airline’s planes.

“The pilots are all trolley dollies. They don’t seem to have qualified pilots, just flight attendants with a very rudimentary understanding of the controls. Then there’s the service. Well, it’s non existent. All you get is a Unite official coming round the aisles with a black bin bag of dry rolls and throwing them at the passengers. If you ask for anything else, they swear at you in strong scouse accents and go on an immediate strike. It’s worse than Ryanair and that’s saying something,” Emma Howler, a passenger on route to Guatemala told the BBC.

Flights to most destinations are not cheap under Unite Airlines either. An economy class flight from Manchester to Brussels costs in excess of £2564 off peak season. Unite says that it is necessary for the moderate cost to flights in order to pay for the golden pension schemes and perks of all Unite employees and members.