I Will Re-awaken Enterprise by Increasing Taxation Says David Cameron

The George Osborne cometh

LONDON – England – David Cameron will pledge today to “reopen Britain for more recession” as he lays out his vision of a more taxed economy, less reliant on enterprise and freedom.

Mr Cameron said that his Government’s priority is to transform the
economy from a “limping wounded post-Labour casualty to a dead carcass over-taxed piece of squashed roadkill”.

Starting with action to tackle the £156 billion deficit. He
will signal an increase in all tax and red tape, and the creation of a
simpler tax system of complete taxation.

“Instead of working for 230 days in a year before you make money for yourself, as was the case under Labour, you can now work for 300 days in a year before you make any money for yourself under the Con-Dem leadership and we might throw in a bonus work day for you as well. Remember that the money you make for your hard work will go to benefits scroungers so that they can enjoy their 48 inch plasma screens and daily drugged up booze playstation 3 sessions in their 4-storey Putney townhouses,” Mr Cameron told business delegates at the Holiday Inn conference centre near Heathrow airport.