Gordon Brown Survives Coup Attempt to Install Democracy

"Never again will you be capable of ordinary human feeling. Everything will be dead inside you. Never again will you be capable of love, or friendship, or joy of living, or laughter, or curiosity, or courage, or integrity. You will be hollow. We shal

LONDON – England – Supreme unelected comrade in chief, Gordon Brown, today survived a coup attempt to install democracy in Soviet Britain.

Speaking deep from within his bunker in Downing street, the British Soviet Broadcasting Company cameras recorded the supreme unelected leader’s speech.

“Comrades, there was an attempt to install democracy on our one party system last night. I am happy to say that the attempt was violently quashed and crushed like a grape under my great clunking fist of soviet dictatorship. I am also happy to say that the workers and agents we installed in the polling stations eventually achieved their objective by erasing the votes of those who had misguidedly voted against me, i.e. 98.9% of voters. I would like to also thank our agents who turned away these democratic voters from polling stations in their thousands. It is enough that the people know there was an election. The people who
cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide
everything.
Already as we speak, my Stasi agents are rushing through the countryside rounding up dissenters. They will all be rounded up and taken to re-education camps in sector 101 where they will have the pleasure of enjoying the next 42 years of their lives crushing rocks. You will all learn to love me comrades, remember these words – War is peace, freedom is slavery and ignorance is strength. Go now to your freezing tenements and tower blocks and recite those words whilst you eat your cold gruel.”

In other news: Stasi agents praised 12 year-old Holly from Sector 23 who reported her father and sister for speaking words of shame against Comrade Brown during a televisual BSBC propaganda program. Holly will be awarded six months of increased butter rations and an extra tin of dog food. Thoughtcrimes will not be tolerated. We are watching and listening to you.

  • vanrompuyarse

    gordon brown and in fact the whole labour party should be in jail(ideally awaiting execution) for fucking up this country, mind you thats what every labour government does, wonder if they are secretly employed by some foreign power, surely they cant be as crap as that by accident?

  • gary

    The Scots are a bigger threat to England than Al Qaida or any Islamic based terror group.
    I hope they’re happy with themselves.

  • OFF WITH HIS HEAD

    GET READY FOR MORE OF THIS SHIT IF WE EVER GET PROPORTIONAL REPRESENTATION. AS HAS BEEN SAID BEFORE –

    FUCK OFF YOU SCOTTISH ONE EYED CUNT FUCK OFF YOU’RE HOLDING 60 MILLION PEOPLE TO RANSOM YOU FUCKING EVIL CUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    .. AND FUCK OFF MANDLESON YOU ARE THE RASPUTIN OF BRITISH POLITICS!

  • Truth

    Gordon – How can you be so blind to the utter contempt that the electorate have for you? Just go away and make room for the DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTED goverment of the UK!

  • Going Down,,,,

    Markets tank tomorrow…HASTA LA VISTA BABY!!!!!

  • British Premier Gordon Brown Is A Paedophile
  • h.j

    gordon brown smells of wee

  • Charles Jacobs

    I think it is absolutely disgusting the comments left here about Gordon Brown. He has done so much good for this country and he desereves to win the election. These comments are disgraceful.

  • Harry d.

    Gordon Brown is a cunt.

  • Dear Gordon Broon Peter Cook summed you up

    ‘You know, the day I met you, I thought you were a cunt. And every time we’ve met since I thought you were a cunt. And it can’t just be me, because everyone who’s ever met you thinks you are a cunt, and probably everyone who will ever meet you will think you’re a cunt. In fact, you’ve got to be the biggest cunt in the world.’

  • GORDO OUT

    FUCK OFF YOU SCOTTISH ONE EYED CUNT FUCK OFF YOU’RE HOLDING 60 MILLION PEOPLE TO RANSOM YOU FUCKING EVIL CUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    SOMEONE DO SOMETHING !!!!

  • paddy

    Anybody else think gordon brown is like herpes?
    Gives you hope of going but returns bigger than ever.

  • A

    Well, I guess that just about sums it all up 🙂