Labour’s Final Solution: Death to the Bourgeoisie

"From each according to his ability, to each according to his need."

LONDON – England – Comrade Darling today unveiled new measures to punish the bourgeoisie and destroy those who own any assets or wealth.

Speaking from the Westminster Duma, Comrade Darling unveiled the new punitive measures package that will help repatriate all wealth from the rich bourgeoisie scum, who are the only ones left with any assets in the United Soviet British Union, thus their wealth will be given to the Benefits consuming key Labour party supporters.

“Our great unelected leader, Comrade Brown ordered me to strip the bourgeois masses of all their wealth. Well, I think I have achieved this task, and will implement it immediately. I have also ordered for anyone who has worked hard for their money to be stripped of their wealth and to have their assets broken up and given to the Benefits people and scroungers in council houses the length and breadth of Soviet Britain.”

Commissar of State for Children, Schools and Families, Ed Balls was on hand to reassure the remaining population who still have some assets left, that the Labour cause was a noble one: “Our Labour policies are averse to any citizen working hard to acquire any form of wealth or assets, this is true, however you must understand we are simply redistributing the wealth to those who don’t want to work and have nothing. Surely you will agree that they deserve your assets more than you do?”

This new equality drive by the state is being implemented to ensure that the British Soviet people are equal in poverty, but there is one consolation Comrades, like all people on Benefits in the UK today, everyone will have a 67 inch plasma TV embedded in their council house living rooms to enjoy for the rest of their grey and sad wasted lives.

“If everyone in Britain is poor and does not have any assets, we have achieved our goal,” Comrade Darling said defiantly, before being driven away in his chauffeured Jaguar.

  • Uly

    Come to Britain where hard workers are punished and their wealth stolen. I guess its time for another brain drain from these hallowed shores.

  • Chepstow Miller

    The Labour party has done more for this country than any party has ever attempted to in the past. Why change something if it isn’t broken?!

  • Ted Barker

    Vote Labour and do not vote for the toffs! Their all out to make money off of the common people.

    VOTE FOR THE WINNING PARTY

    VOTE LABOUR DO NOT FORGET!

  • b.roberts

    Well Darling’s budget today was better than that Do-Nothing Cameron who is going to lose the next election.

    Labour knows what is good for this country and they will ensure that everyone has an equal share in prosperity. Not just like the few under the Conservatives.

    The economy today is STILL in better shape than it was during the Tory recessions of the 80s and 90s.

    Great credit to Labour, Gordon Brown and Chancellor Darling for steering us through an economic tsunami without savage job cuts and house repossessions. Labour has helped hard working families keep their heads above water and now we’re moving back into quicker than anticipated growth. The Tories are the most inept opposition in living memory. Don’t let them wreck the recovery, I say!

  • KEITH

    theres no point in working in Labours Britain What’s the point when you can get everything for free for doing nothing