Pelosi Vows to Go Naked if Healthcare Bill Does Not Pass
SAN FRANCISCO - USA - House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said Saturday, she's going to take off all of her clothes if the House doesn't pass health care legislation and dismissed Republican criticism that her wrinklies should not be used to threaten the House for more votes.
"I have vowed to go completely naked in front of everyone if the Healthcare reform is not accepted," she said during a dedication of the renamed Fing Fung Fong Post Office in San Francisco. The post office was renamed after the nation's first Chinese-American postmaster.
Pelosi declined to say who gave the orders for this act of gross coercion to garner more votes, but some suspect the blame falls firmly in the court of Obama himself.
She also dismissed criticism by House GOP leader John Boehner of Ohio that she was threatening House members with fearful threats to gain votes on Healthcare.
"I'm planning on giving Congressman Boehner a huge boner when I take off my clothes and he can see my saggy breasts," she said to a smattering of laughter from the crowd.
Ms Pelosi is even talking about installing a pole in the middle of the House chamber as well as a well lit stage. The Republicans are however prepared and are giving their members individual buckets so they can vomit into them when Pelosi strips off.
"We've got guys taking bets on how low her saggy breasts are going to hang when she takes off her clothes. I got fifty bucks that they go below her knees," Congressman Boehner said before rolling his eyes back and retching uncontrollably at the mere thought of it all.