17.7 C
London
Friday, April 19, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldMore People Blown Up in Afghanistan Today

More People Blown Up in Afghanistan Today

HELMAND - Afghanistan - Reports are coming in that more people were blown up by bombs, friendly fire and unmanned drones, the Reuters news agency said.

More Afghan civilians, American GI’s and UK marines were blown up today in massive explosions.

“It’s the same as yesterday, the day before that and the day before that. More people died today as well. It’s all the same. Oh, look! There goes another explosion right there,” Colonel Marcus Simpkins of the Yorkshire Regiment said whilst pointing at a huge explosion about 400 metres away.

Yesterday there were as many as 5,350 explosions in Helmand province alone, and some commentators are calling this the “popcorn syndrome”.

“You’re right. We call it the ‘popcorn syndrome’ because if you looked at a satellite view of Afghanistan on any given day, all you would see is a lot of popping going on. The only difference is we don’t get to watch a movie and munch on the crunchy white corn, instead we lie in a bunker deep in the ground cowering underneath a table whilst our sphincters go crazy at every close call,” the Colonel added.

There was more good news yesterday when a series of explosions were reported to have blown up a convoy of ‘Taliban fighters’. It was later revealed that the so-called ‘Taliban fighters’ were in fact a wedding procession of Afghan civilians, this was immediately seen as a success by the NATO high command because anyone within the war zone who is not Western is officially deemed a ‘Taliban fighter’ and notched up as another kill.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

1 COMMENT

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »