Labour: Voters Controlled by Hypnotism Will Stop Tory Win

"Look into my eyes"

LONDON – England – Labour plans to stop the Tories winning the general election by hypnotising the electorate and by applying Barack Obama’s reliance on lies and false promises when campaigning, backed by more internet lies, Douglas Alexander, Labour election spin co-ordinator, discloses today.

“Look how Obama fooled the brainwashed idiots who voted for him and believed every lie he told. I watched the American campaign and saw those brainless robots waving their banners with the vacant looks in their eyes and the whoops of joy as they were whipped into a collective frenzy by the election controllers. We need the same thing over here, to bring in the same form of Soviet mass hypnotism the Americans employ at every election,” Mr Alexander said.

He has been ordered by Brown to engage the electorate with the same Soviet control techniques utilised by Stalin and Obama.

“A Future Fair for the Few”

“Repetition is the key. If you repeat something enough times, the proles will adopt it. Also, denial of the past is another element. The workers are fickle, they forget how we punish them daily with draconian laws, taxes and low employment. Instead, we will talk about the ‘future’ for them. Obviously, if you live in Britain during a Labour government, you have no future, but the people are so stupid and pliant that we will tell them they have a ‘future’ and they will believe it,” Mr Alexander exclaimed whilst puffing at his Havana.

The Pavlovian techniques employed by the Labour controllers are indeed a way of winning the coming election when Gordon Brown is set to be elected for the first time.

  • tom mackenzie

    Cameron talks…and talks..and talks..and says absolutely nothing because he doesn’t want us to know what he has in store for us should win.

    Unless the Voter wakes-up, Cameron will continue with his vacuous speeches until election day when he could get the keys to number ten, then we’ll find out what he has in store for us ,and if the few policies we know about are any indication, his government will have a hard right wing agenda. For more comment see Jeremy Smyles’ blog;

  • The truth

    There is no other viable option for the country other than Labour.
    Do you want a strong PM who knows how to run a country or do you want a wishy-washy toff who knows nothing about running a government?
    Keep the Labour government and you will get out of recession, vote tory and prepare for a second even third recession.

  • graham letts

    Fuck Labour!

  • Tim Singleton

    I know people will vote for Labour, it’s because they are the real party and they are here working for the common person. The Labour party will bring Britain back to its greatness, the Labour party will rescue the economy. The Conservative party stands for ruin and elitism, you will instead vote for the Labour party and you will see the benefit of it. We will rise up as a country once again. We will all stand tall together in equality. Gordon Brown is working for you and me and he will carry on working hard.

  • The peoples party

    Vote Labour! Gordon is the man to bring us out of the recession. Vote Labour for a Safe Future where Equality is for Everyone.

    Trust us to deliver and you will never be sorry.