17.7 C
London
Thursday, April 18, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldBNP Members Avoiding Sunbeds

BNP Members Avoiding Sunbeds

LONDON - England - British National Party members avoid tanning products or anything to do with the sun, an insider has revealed.

“We were told to put on layers of sunscreen at all times, even in winter. If anyone got a tan, like if they went on their hols or something and actually went out in the sun they would be immediately quarantined by the senior party members and stuck in a dark room sometimes for weeks on end,” the insider revealed.

Much like veal, BNP members are urged to live in virtual darkness to preserve their pale complexions.

“If you get a tan of any kind you are immediately called a p*ki or n*gger and told to undergo special re-whitening treatments. I once exposed my left wrist to the sunshine for more than two hours without special sun cream and it got dark. After that I had to hide my arm for fear of being caught,” the man revealed.

After enduring over three years in the BNP, the man finally got the courage to leave and since that time regularly goes to sunny climates for holidays without any fear of reprisal.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »