LONDON – England – Shami Chakrabarti, the epitome of champagne socialism, has opened her own champagne label in Islington.
The mecca for champagne socialists everywhere, the Islington champagne socialist distillery will cater for the upwardly mobile socialists who pretend to care, but really don’t give a shit for the poor.
“Our champagne has a distinct taste fermented from the finest grapes imported from France, a particular region where champagne socialists thrive. Francois Hollande, we hear is a big fan, and whilst he sits in the Palais de l’Elysée he sips our champagne and talks about more socialist reforms and taxation,” Chakrabarti told left-wing Fabian rag, the New Statesman.
Besides sending her children to £45,000 per term private schools, Chakrabarti lives in a £3.8 million Georgian mansion replete with fine furniture and artefacts from all over the world.
“Shami Chakrabarti is the epitome of champagne socialism, but what is more troubling to many is how she persuaded someone to breed with her in the first place? She is now sending her brood to expensive private schools. The same children that some man I presume spawned with her. Who the fuck would even try such a thing? We are truly living in an insane world when some jumped up leftie feminist champagne socialist bitch, who frankly looks like an effete man can get knocked up,” a man at a bus stop outside Chakrabarti’s mansion said before six empty buses all turned up at the same time.