New Retirement Age to be Increased to Five Years After Death

Memento mori

LONDON – England – Workers would only be forced to retire after dying, radical new Government proposals dictate.

Labour’s deputy leader Harriet Harman says a major shake-up in
the law is vital to smash the idea that people are ‘past it’ once they are dead.

In an interview with the Daily Mail, Miss Harman, who will
today announce a fast-track Government review of the retirement age,
said it should be scrapped.

Britons would be forced to work beyond death, and would have
the option to choose to sign a compulsory contractual clause dictating that they will only retire 5 years after their death.

By increasing the retirement age to the after-life for all state workers, this will mean that the government will receive more taxes and money even after the worker has been buried underground, Miss Harman said.

The change in the law would cover staff who have already signed contracts that say they will retire at the normal age and will force them to abide by the new laws.

In addition, Miss Harman wants to reduce the state pension by 54% to increase the empty treasury coffers.

Latest figures show a record 1.4million workers have reached the
state pension age of 60 for women and 65 for men and they will be told tomorrow of the new government plans.

“I was going to retire tomorrow after working 45 years of my life as a road sweeper for Lambeth council, they told me yesterday that I will have to work until my death. That’s why I’m off to the bridge right now to take a swan dive into the Thames. It’s a hard life innit?” Reg Braithwaite, 65, told the Evening Standard.

The new directive is the exact opposite, however, to the retirement age for those working in high government office; they usually retire at the age of 45 with a large taxpayer funded pension and numerous other financial benefits.