17.7 C
London
Wednesday, April 24, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldIf You Want to Die Vote Trump

If You Want to Die Vote Trump

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - People will die under a Trump presidency, probably in their millions, and this is a guarantee because where there is Trump, there will be war.

 

“If you wish to die then vote Trump. When it comes to the election, you or your children may very well be called up to the army. When you land in Arabia or some other godforsaken land you will most probably die in a hail of bullets, or have your limbs blown from your body. This is war, and you will be doing it at Trump’s behest,” a military adviser at the Republican party headquarters revealed on Wednesday.

Much like George W. Bush, there will be no qualms in entering into wars in the Middle East, with troops on the ground and dead Americans piling up the morgues.

Trump’s already had council with Kissinger, and this was a precursor to war in itself. War under Trump is a guaranteed ideal.

Such is the support for Trump that many Americans are willing to die for him, and his demagogue status.

Dick Monroe, 41, from Chicago, Illinois said at a recent Trump rally: “I want to die for Trump and the flag. It’s an honour to have my legs blown off at the knee, as long as I know I am working for America’s corporate interests abroad.”

Who is to say that Trump won’t trigger a full scale nuclear war with N. Korea, Iran, Russia or China, because if he does that, not only will most of America die, but so will most of Western Europe and Australia. The thought of having someone who is trigger happy and unhinged with their finger on the red button is unsavoury, however an all out nuclear war resulting in a nuclear winter for fifty years could be a good thing in the long run, because it will give the earth time to recover from the human polluting pestilence.

Here’s to Trump. Vote for him if you and your children, grandchildren, family wish to die.

What life will be like under Donald Trump

 

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

4 COMMENTS

  1. We need a war. We need to kick some muzzie ass. I’m voting Trump because I love war and know he’s going to clean house. Those stinking filthy muslims all need to die. Trump 2016 so we can clean the rats out once and for all. Hooah!

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »