No Oil In North Korea Says U.S.

A bomb coming to your town soon

WASHINGTON DC – USA – A spokesman for the Pentagon has announced that U.S. forces will not be invading N. Korea any time soon because there is no oil there.

Speaking from the Pentagon, Theobold Reznick told reporters: “Until we find that there is oil in N. Korea we will NOT be invading. I don’t care if they’ve got nuclear weapons and WMD’s coming out of their assholes, we ain’t invading that sucker because  a) they don’t have oil, b) they might actually fight back.”

“No Oil But Loads of WMD”

Meanwhile back in Pyongyang, there have been calls for even more nuclear tests in order to prove to the world how far its nuclear program has come.

“You don’t actually think the U.S. would dare to invade someone who actually fights back huh? They just target oil rich countries who have no functioning armies or air force. Once they find one of those countries, it’s just a case of baiting these paper tigers until they crack; getting stooges like Colin Powell to testify to the U.N. with falsified evidence, spreading rumours and fear as well as de-humanizing the ‘enemy’ as much as possible. Then you’re on the home straits, keep that up for awhile and increase the patriotic jingoistic rhetoric until the warmongering froths up the public’s Yankee spirit to fever pitch level, and then — Shock and Awe time,” a political commentator on Capitol Hill told Fox News.

After developing the conventional missile driven atomic bomb, North
Korean scientists were also engaged in research to miniaturise the detonation mechanisms to fit into suitcases and other
portable transportation devices. Naturally, for the right price, Jihadists would be accommodated by the North Koreans.